The root of the root, the very core of the very complex phenomena of human existence, in all its manifestations of conflict and existential suffering is woven together by one single thread… the longing for love.
If you want to find the seed of all suffering, the soul of all bliss and the portal point of transformation that is without borders, without language, skin or ideology you will find the answer in your loneliness and in your love.
Our ability to love is hindered by the history we have come from, the individualisation of our capitalist lives, the desensitisation of our suffering world; perhaps it is rooted right down to our most intimate experiences of love. For love is a vast spectrum that is cramped in the confines of our ‘One and Only’ definitions. The narrowly normalised dynamics of monogamous, straight, same aged, same interests one love forever, marriage, babies the whole Disney princess shebang.
It has taken our species a millennia to even begin de-stigmatising sexuality and addressing the very real and deeply rooted war on gender, not just in giving women the right to vote or dress but for all genders to really love, unhindered by conformity and fear. Contrary to what we have learned, love is not possession.
Love is the ultimate freedom.
'The destruction of love was a prerequisite for the creation of modern, imperial societies, for loving people cannot be controlled'.
Those of us who have opened our eyes enough to see that the suffering of humanity is systemised and cleverly designed to suppress the soul by consuming the senses, could perhaps stretch a little further to embrace the potential that our most loving relationships are effected by that same oppression. Why wouldn’t our ideas of love and relationship be effected by the patriarchal power games? Is it a coincidence that so many of us are so unfulfilled in our relationships and in love?
“Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. At the same time, we expect our committed relationships to be romantic as well as emotionally and sexually fulfilling. Is it any wonder that so many relationships crumble under the weight of it all?”
What we have believed all this time to be our personal, private lives of loving are in fact a political statement and a public affair. We have been living in the illusion of separation and the offspring our unconscious co-existence is the crisis we see around us today. If we take a look around, look at the generation of divorce we have come from and the distorted concepts of union before that, where marriage was for property and power over another, further on we go deeper into the patriarch where true love most likely would not have existed in landscapes of oppression. It is no wonder we don't know how to love and treat each other or ourselves, it has been lost a long time ago. But we must re-learn for the entire future depends on it. To love in ways that are both safe and freeing, unconditional and enduring.
The denial of our relationship to nature, to animals and to each other is a reflection of our constrain on love. Our ability to love is infinite. We can hold the pain of the world in love whilst in the arms of our lover, we can love more than one person at once. We can love and love and love if we let ourselves. If we learn that we are the eternal source itself and jealousy an illusion of an old story that keeps us bound in power struggles and war.
This is the war on gender, the war on love.
This is the story of our human existence.
This is the very intimate wound we must address as the basis of a new earth.
“Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.”
Love is our most quintessential reason for being, it lives within our deepest core and drives us forward, above and beyond ideologies we inhabit and into an existentialist life force. We long for partnership, union and the closeness of loves touch. We carry its absence most keenly like stones in our hearts, where partnership has failed us and the ache too much to leave open to the possibilities of new horizons in love. But if we were to simplify the wounds in love it comes down to a break in trust. Our microcosmic tribes are mirrored in the macrocosm of our interspecies eco-systems of existence on this planet and if we want to heal our earth we have to re-learn the art of loving. It begins with transparency and trust.
'Could it be that one of the core reasons for our epochal disaster is that our species has never understood how to do what it actually likes to do most: to love - both physically and spiritually? Could it be that the tragedy of many generations consists of their not having been conceived in and born out of love and that they now pass this original pain onto their fellow creatures?'
It is of course the spiritual truth that the primary love is within ourselves, but the second spiritual truth is that we are part of a much larger organism of life. We have to re-learn the art of relating, how to love in a much larger spectrum than we have ever considered before.
This new era, this new landscape, is a time of renewal. If we are to be truly honest we can come to the conclusion that perhaps everything we have come to believe about love in partnership is wrong. Or at least disillusioned and therefore our conditioning is perhaps so manifold and layered, like a rose bud in the unconscious waiting to reveal our true desires, our true needs and the new territories in which love can thrive.
So how does autonomy and interdependence find a home in which both can live.. how can we heal our relationships so our actions to create a better world won’t crumble from the age old dramas of love?
It is our collective mission to break down and build anew the architecture of community. To live in transparency with many people, transparent and trusting, diverse relationships through which our complex needs in love can be fulfilled and partnership can stand a chance. In the microcosms of city structures, the unspoken ethos of sharing in rural towns, in the visionary Edens of shared land, shared resources, shared vision of community. Balanced with spaciousness, the essential gift of relationship to self from which all other experiences of love blooms.
No matter how persistently we may cocoon ourselves from one another, building walls and striving towards the light of our personal realisation, recognition upon the podium of our achievements; we are bound by our human nature - interdependence.
The truth is that any endeavour, whether in business, activism, ecology or scientific pursuits; the structure upon which all else relies is human relations.
Love, not defined by the monogamous partnership between two people but a complex symphony of relationships that feed the spectrum of our needs with nuances and unique spectrums of love in diversity. Elders, neighbours, lovers, partners, parents, children, sages, gardeners… the list goes into a beautiful symphony of personalities and relationships that feed our sense of connection to its depth.
Love is infinite and we have boxed its expression into very narrowly defined terms.
"if we consider everything, we only have two options: either we look away and give up, or we identify the causes of the collective drama and build another world'.
Art by Lena Macka <3