Musings of Existence Musings of Existence

Musings of Existence

By Isabella Gillespie

Musings of Existence Musings of Existence

All of creation is held within the seed. It is how everything begins, in the seed of a thought, in the seed of creative potential. Yet it is the soil, the stars, the sun and the rain; it is the conditions of our nature that determine how that seed will grow. Like the seed, we absorb the nutrients from the landscapes around us. We become reflections of our surrounds. Mirrors moving against each other, illuminating the totality of our human nature.

The complex harmonics of our world are made of movement. Like music, existence is an unending rhythm of conversation between atoms, molecules and matter. All that exists emanates vibration. 

The most scientific and existential pursuits for meaning are born of the same insatiable desire to understand the mystery of existence. To return from the place of separation, the unknowing; into the comfort of knowing. These are merely two mindscapes on which the same patterns play out. There is a pattern, a rhythm to life and science is a poetic path. Both hold the seed of one another. 

The most fundamental truth is that everything in existence is inseparable, even by time and space. Movement is a conversation between spaces. We see the patterns in nature mirrored by the planetary movements, in our own human form, in the material landscapes and intellectual genius; we see the patterns of thought reflected back at us in the state of our earth. 



Some of the great existential teachings speak of the potential hidden in an immersion in silence. Yet there is, no silence. Neither is there stillness. There is only a rhythm and sound, a resonance and a dissonance between things. So what is silence? Space. 

It is the space between letters that give them meaning, the space between notes that curate melody; the space between the sun and earth that breathes life into our planet. We all know we are each made of mostly empty space, yet how can this be? How can we understand this abstract notion of who we are? If we meditated for long enough, on the scientific truth of our existence as vessels made of empty space, water and energy; we would come to understand the way forward. For it is in understanding spaciousness that brings us out of the illusion of our materiality. The concept that we have little time, little space, little resources is the reflection of our congested minds. In actuality, it is the information overload we have attuned to in our modern existence that inebriates us from clarity in our vision and actions. 

Simplicity is our most powerful path of equilibrium. In each moment, we are attuning ourselves to the harmonics around us. We are not independent in our ideas, our fears or dreams; we are interdependent and intricately connected. We breathe the same air, drink the same water, we eat from the same source. We move ourselves in response to the landscapes of which we are a part of. Not even our most intimate thoughts and deepest longings are ever silent within ourselves. They are perhaps, the nosiest and most chaotic instruments in the grand orchestra; playing out in all of our minds and hearts. The yearning for love. 

Oneness is the presence of a single, ongoing conversation of existence. From the first single spark, we all became possibilities. The pure creative potential of eternal evolution, encircles the question ‘why’ of our existence to ‘why not’. When the scientific perception of detached acceptance of deconstructed realities and the existential perception of meaning merge, we realise that existence is meaningful. But perhaps it was not born of any intention to be meaningful. It simply is. It is our resistance to what is, that traps us in illusion and destroys the balance of our earth. Because we exist, we exist in synergy with everything else in existence. We live in a wounded body. The body of our planet, of ourselves and the body of our collective consciousness. For we have lost the art of spaciousness. The spaciousness that arises in pure aware acceptance of what is, in any given moment. 

Spaciousness is the root of silence. Space, is the home of the mysterious. It is where the void pulsates and lures us in and drives us away. We are afraid of our nature. We are afraid that, in spaciousness, we become nothing. But what is it to be a Thing? Would we truly cease harbouring meaning if we courageously surrendered ourselves into our most essential nature; that of being, mostly empty space. Does the great cosmic skies that stir our most existential longings strip themselves of their magnificence because they are so vast and infinite? Of course not. It is in space we find our deepest truth. For words lose us in their ancestral dysmorphia of our own human history. That is why we must return to the wordless, unworldliness, of this world state of presence that is, to reawaken ourselves into being truly alive. 

To be aware is to be alive. Awareness is born of the senses, the receptors and antenna of our most sacred bodily gifts. Our evolution as a species has bought us many things, it has existed in its own rhythm of sleeping and awakening. We have been in an eternal conversation with the cosmic bodies and inner earth magnetism since the Earth’s beginning. Our entire lineage is as much alive now, as ever. It is holographic and encoded into the very fabric of nature all around us. Within the ancient rivers, trees and stones. In the sacred places of earth and in her very core. We cannot separate our existence from that of our ancestors or our future generations more than we can separate our fingers from our hands. Responsibility is a freedom, if we hold it with reverence in the understanding that it is an empowered state of reflection of our consciousness and service to our soul. To resist responsibility to is to shift into the unconscious or shadow self. We cannot be here and not be a part of what that asks of us. We may not consciously trace our own actions back to the root of the problems we are reflected in our world, but we are in the presence of them, understanding we are in an empowered position to emanate the salve to this collective wound. We cannot deny our place in the world, without forfeiting a part of our aliveness, of our soul. The problem is we are in an overwhelm of information. And where overwhelm exists, systems shut down. We have stripped our earth and our lifestyles of any spaciousness. Just as we have taken a third of the Earth’s lungs away, we too have lost our ability to breathe. We have not risen to the voice of our inner truth and power, our leadership and natural ability to co-create equilibrium on earth because we are in disconnect with ourselves. Our physical bodies, our feelings, our minds are all poisoned by a multifarious and multi faceted toxicity in our societies. Yet, there is change.

The internet is simply an outer manifestation of the web of communication of our natural world. It was not invented but manifested from the existing model, reflected from the mycelium network of the trees, and into the human likeness for our own realised connection to one another. Like our minds, we are the screens; and both technology and our the system of our minds hold the same power for mass revolution in consciousness as much as the complete destruction of it. We have seen the demise of our collective consciousness reverberated and amplified throughout the interweb of technology; whether we are on the screen or in our minds, it is the same repetition of thoughts and beliefs travelling between and exchanging and feeding one another. We cannot help but be affected by one another, for we are one another. Until we all wake up to the truth, of the interconnectedness of all things in an intimately sensitive way that we affect and are affected by our own nature and of the nature of all around us. We are all bound to the same destiny. We may each grow our own seeds but they will grow in the one garden. 

We think, we feel, we know. 

The balance between knowing, deep in itself; that within its tiny shell, the seed is the whole tree. Kilometres of roots, branches burrowing and reaching simultaneously into the light and into the dark. Serving all its surrounds in it most natural impulse to give oxygen and receive carbon. We are seeded not only into the wet earth of our own peculiar scattered destinations - our destinies, but also into and of one another. Within the seed is the whole universe.

I had an experience. And all grounded truths are born of experience.

In the darkness, with nothing to reflect its light upon me as the sun upon the moon. I saw a silver ring of light in my eye. There was nothing else, no less reasonable answer, than this rare moment of mirror, true self reflection. I saw the light of my soul coming from a deep and unbounded place within me. And I knew, within my deepest core, within the seeds of my heart contained the whole future. Every possible story, every person and plant. Every ancient mystical creature and mysterious presence.


I didn’t know then, much less than I do now, but mind knowing and deep cellular knowing are as if a different species. Existing in separate terrains and landscapes. Like languages of two distinct lineages. That of our indigenous, ancestral selves, who belong to this knowing as much as to the earth and stars. The other is our westernised insatiable desire to know, to paint ourselves with a kind of intellectual identity. To scientifically suction the marrow of all that is mysterious from the bones of our ancestors whose morgue is the monastery on which our society is built.

There is a blindness that is imperceptible to the human eye. For it is a contradiction and a paradox, two things that lie on the borders of our myths. The doorway to our greatest truths. That which can’t be spoken, or known, in the barren landscape of the mind whose lack of curiosity has eroded our imagination and where no creative ideas can come to grow. For there are weeds that strangle all that is good. Noxious and resilient. That is why we must all learn the art of gardening, of dirtying the hands of our inner and outer worlds. We must get in touch with the nature symmetry within ourselves and our natural world. To purify the toxins that have robbed us all of the minerals necessary to know who we are, and what we are here to do.


Some fruits come each with a thousand seeds. Some have only one. This is equivalent to the nature of desires within us. Our common history has unsanctified our sexuality. We are sexual beings. Birth is a sexual experience. It is the same surrender needed to orgasm as it takes to birth. It is surrender from the knowing mind to the body wisdom of natures intelligence. We are plant bodies. We are animal bodies. We are expressions of nature as much as the fruits, stones and sky. 

Sexual Nature

The pleasure of creativity is the passion of sex. We simply use it in a different way. For what is sex but the ultimate act of creativity, creation. That is why to really create something we must come into our bodies. Being present in our bodies is to show up in the world. Without presence, we have no hope in restoring our earth. We need to be here, truly be here within ourselves to be in synergy with the larger organism of which we are a part of. No moment exists where nature is not communicating to and through us. Our thinking minds are the bi-product of evolution. What they hold is great potential. For the most powerful intuitive and imaginative acts of creation, in the light and the dark. They amplify.


Luckily, nature is resilient and we are nature. As though we are each a thousand archetypes, we can create secret alliances within ourselves. Reprogramming our belief systems is to pull out the roots. Our cheat, tool or secret weapon is this ~ curiosity. Curiosity kills judgement. It is a way of tending to the garden, gently and diligently; until the roots are weak and come to a natural death. For it is said, that weeds only grow where the soil is lacking something. We need to heal the soil, the landscape of the mind, by feeding it with a new perspective. Positive thinking can be a difficult opponent of a troubled mind. Perception, perspective, is to know how we create space. We frame our thoughts so we may see them clearer, looking in on them as though from the outside. Perception expands our minds with a subtle space, a gentleness that does not fire thoughts against thoughts; in an energetic battle, but rather rises above them and observes. Listens to and doesn’t react.

We are, after all, the gardeners of a new way. 


Artist - Harley and J 


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