The Relationship Axis
Even the most solitary existence is deeply rooted and rich in relationship. As bare feet upon the earth is an active conversation, a language of footprints and movement that press upon her body, embedding, absorbing; co-writing a repertoire of existence. So too aloneness is the cavern of thoughts in which we hide ourselves, it is but a state of mind, for life is teeming, brimming, pulsating in connection and cannot help but be touched by it. To make clear, one teaspoon of soil holds more living organisms than there are humans on the planet. Every time we walk outside and feel the wind on our face we bring its story into our bodies, we inhabit the evolutionary journey between all things. Each time we meet the eyes of another, or smile upon a beautiful flower, we tell each other we are here… living, alive.
Relationship is the epicentre of our existence.
Poets understand reality to be touched by the mystic, bridged between the living and the dead, the thinking and the felt, the mystic and the material. How even those which we would define inanimate are nothing other than an alchemical transmutation from one life form to another, exuding story and energy that is constantly evolving with our own. Even death seems unencumbered by the narrowly defined idea of death - to exist, or cease to exist - as dreams, memories, love itself re-animates and rewrites in the echo of what once seemed so unchanging.
Relationship finds us, creeps through the cracks of our broken hearts and leaves us yearning to be met open, honest and unafraid. Relationship is the core of what makes us living and what makes us come alive. The difference between a state of living and of being alive is to be in rapture, feeling. It is a realisation born of reflection. From the gift and grace of contrast, we observe diversity to reveal unity within its spectrum. We find a sense of wholeness and rightfulness to be here, born from diversities embrace. We belong, so deeply, to our earths embrace.
It is bizarre how such a centre of the human journey, so tangible and tender is the toxic root behind all political mayhem and war. War begins in the heart and the mind of self and then through the discomfort of that identity mirrored in relationship to another. A self loving world will be unbridled from the war mongering mind gone mad.
Peace is a state of mind, a state of relationship.
We must return back to our focused centre, to give this aspect of our selves the necessary and impertinent attention of authentic presence, active learning and bold vulnerability it needs. We are a world undersexed and unlearned in the language of love. A people threaded like black pearls of unseen, unheard and broken relationships; our courageous hearts keep loving and the mind spins, dizzies and destroys. A beautiful shadow lustrous and longing.
Time nurtures and time annihilates. We are tested in its embrace to the strength of our fears and the courage of our hearts... Do we give ourselves over to synchronicities and karmic cycles, do we cut cords and retreat to independence, do we communicate our feelings honestly as we are feeling them, do we show up in our vulnerabilities and drop the projections, expectations and fantasies?
How do we walk the line of assertiveness and surrender, going for it and letting it come, giving and receiving… we embrace the necessary and transformative powers of humiliation. Humiliation is a integral to forming and sustaining authentic relationship for it brings revelation and clarity.
If you love someone let them be.
The greatest gift we can give our relationships is that of space. Namely, spaciousness of the mind. As we soften our thoughts that convince us we know who people are and what to expect of them, we stop weaving the sticky web of projections and allow others to change, evolve and slowly reveal themselves like a blossoming flower.
We each hold within us the infinite. The infinite potential of transformation, a myriad of personalities, identities, desires, dreams; all longing for expression. So often we burn our bridges in hopes to have the space needed to take flight. Whilst this is often necessary, it is not the only path. We don’t cease loving because we change, love moves through us because it is the nature of life itself. Those we have loved, we will always love. Where there is pain, there is love there too. Even in the unfeeling, indifference, numbness; love is hiding.
How often do we express love when it comes to us? Could we open to the presence and expression of love without the whiplash of fear in the stories we hold around it? Yessssssssss, your heart screams! We are capable of so much more love than we allow for ourselves. Yet it requires one thing from us, communication.
Communication creates safe containers for love.
We are in an age dripping with potential for empowered communication, so why are we so incompetent at it? Communicating authentically is not something you do every once in a while, it is a state of being. It is a way of life. It is a devotion to truth and self worth, with the courage to embrace discomfort and vulnerability as an essential part of life. Nobody likes ‘making a deal’ of seemingly trivial things, nobody likes vulnerability. Yet we are all absolutely captivated by longing for freedom within our relationships that we may dare to face discomfort so we can evolve together, instead of break apart.
We are each given freewill in our journeys through life. One path is difficult because it expands, deepens and radically transforms our experience of living from shallow to deep, deficient to rich, in all of its intensity that is not always pleasant. We can only love to the depths of which we love ourselves, the depths to which we have learned to feel and show up, express those feelings. If we choose to bypass our authenticity, side step communication and still expect the raw magic of love, we will face seemingly insurmountable walls without any means to overcome them. Ultimately, it will break our hearts.
Poor communication is like a noxious weed that eats at the foundations of our life until everything falls apart. It doesn’t matter how we define relationship because it is us who are defined by it. We are so afraid of expressing love, even calling a relationship a relationship, because of the congested stories woven around our conditioned minds narrow understanding of them. It must be exhausting for us all! Tripping, bleeding, crawling, crying, overcomplicating our lives! For we are so very unlearned in the arts of relating, so very underexposed to healthy relationships and so very susceptible to illusion that we make quite a mess for ourselves. A world nourished by loving relationships & fulfilling sex would cease consuming, fighting and generally fucking up the planet.
What’s more uncomfortable than communication is a lack of it. Navigating the discomfort & fear conditioning of love is no easy feat. Yet relationship weaves the story of our lives, it is what we remember, what we leave behind. So we invest here, in our devotion to truth and learn to trust in the comings and goings of the heart without saturating our experiences in archaic stories of attachment in love.
Lets build new bridges. Between our fear and our love, between ourselves and each other, between our intellect and our feeling. Set your heart free and let it move you! Rise with love, fall with love, slip in and out of its embrace with each stranger who inspires you, each old friend of chance crossing, every person you admire - don’t be afraid to love. Don't give in to the fear. Fear of its implications, its requirements, its illusory cage.
Love does not constrain you, it sets you free.