For many years I have been unconsciously compartmentalising my life.
High-lining between the forever beckoning beauty of the consciously woven bubble of my personal reality and the ever demanding cries of the larger worlds battles for justice, for peace.
Both rugged edged mountains, sacred pilgrimages in themselves lay valleyed by a cawing cacophony, a murder of crows, foretelling the necessary presence of the dying, of death.
The death of what has been, for what must be. The death of the ego, the death of humans, the death of old forests, the death of species, the last pure water sources and pockets of wilderness, the annihilation of stability, the breaking of illusion; all around us nature is reflecting this natural cycle of change. And those glossy black wings, an unnerving spiral, demanding more voices, more support, more attentiveness, more energy for every collective wound, cause and crisis calling out, drawing in. There are simply so many areas of the collective world stage that need our energy, which voice do we listen to, which do we follow?
So it has been. To and fro, a pendulum existence, rhythmically circumnavigating the harmonics of my own cyclical body language; active, passive, inwards, outwards. The ebb and flow of energy emerged within the magnitude of the oceanic mission, a searing sense of urgency and direction drawn between the absolute exasperation of those two mountains. Coupled with a yearning need for distillation, complete re-calibration into the slow, the sensitive, a more peaceful existence.
Dreams and philanthropic drives have circled my heart in harmonic disenchantment like grieving birdsong for all that is unhealed in our world met with all that remains unhealed within myself. As though sitting inside a spinning compass waiting and waiting for the arrow to point true north. For the definitive path, the end of the illusive ‘search’ that gnawing unconscious pursuit for finality rather than flow. That is the irony of our genetic imprint, for the stability that we yearn for is also the cage that we fear; change, change, change.. this is our true nature. Change, change, change so shall it be.
Underneath that black mass of impenetrable confusion lay sea beds of crystalline dreams, glistening in pockets of spring tides, beckoning me into a creative pilgrimage of the timeless, poetic abyss where the warm waters of self realisation surely dwell. The gentle flow of a soft, sensitive and slow existence. The selfish pursuits, those that follow the impulse of the individual heart and the existential pursuits of service also born of heart song, magnetically dancing into each other to find the centre, the meeting. To take the path of only one of these mountains, would be to abandon myself.
So I learn to balance, I learn to embody, I learn to walk the middle road.
The magnetic friction of this existential paradox is manifested and exemplified by a conditioned sense of time. Those pinnacle ages of expected achievements that we carve for our futures - 20, 30, 40 on and on we go, with an unconscious white knuckled grip of the unforeseeable we enmesh self worth with the outward, checklist of our conditioned minds and inevitably, when life spins us way of that axis, we feel somehow lesser.
Part of our conditioning is an obsession with the grandeur. The need for ever bigger and greater avenues of expression, turning hobbies into empires, individuality into influencers and monetising teachings, wisdom along the way.
Yet it is the humble and slow appreciation, the generosity of our time and our hearts that are the very essence, the end point and the middle road of the big visions we hold for ourselves and the world. The most unassuming acts of gentle persevering kindness are the ways of the warrior, whose sword is made of light. Knowledge, teaching, wisdom that helps alleviate the suffering of mankind is a natural resource; to be given abundantly where it is needed.
For many of us, our path lies in this middle road. If we only fight against the hard shelled structures of oppression the inner fire can easily burn out, yet if we embody the solutions, if we carve the way by living the way, then we draw endless amounts of energy from simplicity and soul fulfilment in the unification of our dual nature.
Life recently landed me unexpectedly inside of a vision, feet rooted in the dirt, heart opened to community, I found an unexpected sense of relief as the fragments of my self seamlessly found their way back into wholeness. All of these avenues of politics, activism, love, sexuality, individuation, connection, creative dreams and a drive for service found place within the umbrella of community. For me, the antidote for our species spiritual amnesia and disconnect from the earth, which is the core of what we see as her collapse yet what what will ultimately be her recalibration, is community. War, is a friction born of disconnect and the foundational essence of community is co-existence only made possible through connection.
To embody the solution, we must learn to connect, to become devotional.
We raise children consciously, we learn the language of the earth & create gardens in every city, community, home. We build communities, in whatever form we find them and devote ourselves to vulnerability, intimacy & connection, moving through the fears and walls, transforming the world by transforming ourselves. We learn to communicate with radical honesty, to lovingly create boundaries whilst exuding compassion. We create safe environments, landscapes in which to heal trust and surrender our isolation. We learn how to listen to, nurture and look after our bodies, we learn how to respect our ancestors and the first nations of our earth. For every wound there are a million avenues to heal, by living the healed expression. So celebrate the simplicity of your incredible heart filled pursuits of life! In this moment, you are seen, you are acknowledge and you are celebrated for all that you are and everything you do from love. You are a creator, so go ahead and create the life you dream, make footprints for others to follow, make footprints of love.
Photography by @argylestreetstudio_