There are many mysteries, edges and shapeshifting truths in our world. The way most of our species has come to familiarise ourselves with the unfamiliar is through identification of pre-existing clusters of thought, namely, we use our minds. The mind is systematic and functions through organising, processing & classifying information according to different sectors of the brain.
Yet what happens when something doesn’t quite ‘fit’ into the sections and subsections of understanding we have created through cultural norms, societal customs, group thought? We create another label, another box, another classification so we may essentially, find a place for everything so all can belong.
What would happen if we shifted our heavy frontal lobe dominated way of viewing and understanding the world to a greater felt, heart based experience? Is there a greater truth yet to be fully recognised?
Some truths bypass the need for intellectual understanding, the all encompassing truths that (1.) we exist and (2.) because we exist, we inherently belong. Every living being, belongs. We inherently deserve love and respect, kindness and connection, freedom of choice and a responsibility to care for the complex eco-system we share.
If we took a step back from the need to understand through rigorous intellect and instead tuned in to the real life present moment people we encounter, there is a natural connection because on shared human experience. Every person knows the turmoil and the triumphs of emotions, feelings, highs, lows, love, heartbreak and all of the other threads of humanity that weave us all together. If we met each other from that which connects us rather than that which separates, wouldn’t we find acceptance of our differences a much more simple feat?
That being said, we live within the trepidations and changing landscapes of evolutionary small truths that are embedded in our societies and ourselves. Within these constructs minority groups are ostracised and dehumanised, creating need and responsibility for all to learn a new language and give space for the celebration of a shifting orientation of gender and sex.
The idea of "gender conformity" is based on these norms.’
Traditionally, within the westernised societal constructs, gender has been defined as boy or girl, deepening on whether you were born with a penis or vulva, or whether you have an XX chromosome or XY chromosome biological makeup.
This then depicts characteristically whether you are dressed in blue or pink, whether you should play competitive sports or play with dolls, whether you become a lawyer, or a stay at home mum, a husband or a wife. This role play of expectations has evolved some, yet for the most part these remain the underlying foundations and expectations of the average jo (or josephine). Most likely you expect to find the one partner, generally of the opposite ‘sex’, eventually get married, have kids and slip into the roles that work best for the family unit. There is nothing wrong with this scenario if it is coming from a true self knowledge of your body, your self, your desires and the belief systems that are running the show. Yet why do we feel the need to find the ‘one’? Why do most of us identify as unreligious and dream of the white wedding, a ritual deeply ingrained by religious dogma and a history of essentially, slave brides being sold for a dowry and a ring?
Why do so many of us know this and still wish to be married, even with the foreboding statistics of divorce that tell us it is in fact a bad move for relationship? And what would relationships look like if we were truly liberated from conditioned belief systems that are embedded with sexual shame and fear of difference, what would happen if we truly embraced the fluidity of our own changing nature?
How many genders are there?
Does gender even exist, or is it infinite and expanding?
There is a significant existing and increasing number of people carving a new language, a new orientation of the many complex shackles of conformity; carving a new path of liberation for our entire population and demanding that we re-shape the idea of sex, gender and identity.
;In 2016, a survey in Minnesota sampled 81,000 teenagers, 22,000 of whom identified as non gender conforming. That is 3% who reject the gender based identities they were given at birth. Some cultures recognise 3, 4 even 5 genders within their communities. The native Americans (Manitoba Indians) acknowledges 3-5 gender roles: female, male, two spirit female, two spirit male & transgendered.
While the Quodoushka Native American teachings use a wheel to explain sexuality and sexual preference, west of the wheel is heterosexual - attraction between two opposite magnetic poles, east of the wheel is homosexuality, north is bi-sexuality, south is ambisexual (opposite gender but under the right circumstance may deviate), the centre is omnisexual which means to feel a sexual connection to all earth, like orgasmic experiences in nature or heightened states of pleasure that lead us to a feeling of oneness.'
(Excerpt from Soul Doctor podcast with Rebecca Dettman)
In the Human development sector at Cornell university a study by Ritch Savin Williams got a range of people shows them a range of porn and looks at their eyes to see whether they dilate or not. Your eyes can lie, theres more going on to sexuality, regardless of how they ‘self report’ to sexuality their bodies respond differently.
In our most purest essence are we simply attracted to energy, essence, soul vibration? The essence of life itself, all living things, every plant, flower and creature inhabits the space of eros, the creative life force. So we can recognise and embrace the necessary reclamation of fluid sexuality and identity through the lgbtqi + community, and evolving, whilst also recognising and embracing that we are simply erotic beings and the expression of that manifests in a beautiful myriad and multitude of ways.
‘no biological, pscyhological or ecological, economic fate depicts the figure of a human female in society .. one is not born but rather becomes a woman.’
simone de bovoir 1949
How we define feminine and masculine is largely a cultural development, where we have characterised traits, attitudes, feelings, behaviours and human bodies. Yet there is also an unchanging truth of the presence of masculine and feminine within the ongoing creation of life in our natural world. One is a human construct, the principles of nature. We each have masculine and feminine energies within us, yet we have different cycles through which we move from one to the other. Some oscillate daily, others through lifetimes, it is simply the rhythm of our own personal evolutions.
When we create boxes of identity we seem to alienate our authenticity, our ever evolving and dynamic identities, into fragments. Energetically, our true selves go far beyond these human constructs. What we see in our stories of humanity and human identity is the evolution of social design. How might we re-design the social structures as spacious biotopes of exploration, creation, re-imagination of not only our way of life but our innate being?
Expand your lexicon below!