My findings, Sex & Blood.
Males will never fathom her complexities.
Let’s accept that.
I write to share my thoughts now at 23 years of age, after several years of transformation. A growing consciousness it seems, sprouted by the practice of Yoga & meditation, trauma too. I was conditioned growing up by the males around me. Toxic masculinity and the mentality of objectifying the female body. A life confined to this mindset sings for change.
My findings…
I’ve learnt that to be ‘let in’ by a women is an honour. Entering her space, her body, her land should be done with intention and respect. The vagina is sensitive and sacred. She is the birthplace of human life. She is the gateway to existence, in which we’ve all come through. We’ve all slid through her slimy and expansive walls as new borns into our first breath. Let’s give gratitude.
I believe all humans have a duty to respect the female body, she is to be worshipped. We have been conditioned to sexualise her sacred land. I’ve experienced this myself and am grateful to have had broken free from ‘the pack’ of boys at a younger age than most, around 19. When you’re in it, you’re smothered by it, how could we know any better?
Something in me knew this patriarchal behaviour wasn’t right. It was animalistic. Though, I had to go through it. I had to objectify women, sexualise their bodies, treat them poorly and purge my own bottled up trauma into them to learn, and to question my actions and the actions of many other males.
I think we as collective of men, need to soften a little. We need to balance the seesaw of masculine and feminine energy. We need to befriend the feminine in us. Accept her. She’s there behind the external facade we’re too proud to show, waiting patiently to be heard. She’s knocking. Let her dance. Abiding by the childish and toxic terms like, ‘man up’ or ‘don’t be a pussy’, is a cry for change. Speak your truth. We need to open up and be more expressive. Yes, be strong and ply, though soft and gentle too. We need to come together with women, and share our indifferences and similarities. We need to understand each other. Though, in order to do this we need to understand ourselves.
Sex…
Sex is an energy exchange. We should enter her to express love and love only. The vagina is not an outlet to release our bottled up emotion, our stress or anger. This is our own problem to deal with. Sit and breath, learn to meditate, get in the ocean, go tread the earth bare foot. The vagina is absorbent. Let it soak up love, passion and devotion. Let it soak up truth and honesty. Be present with her. Appreciate her appearance, her odour, her taste, her texture and all of her offerings. She is powerful and vast. She is an entrance to creation. Males will never fathom her complexities. Let’s accept that. She is mysteriously magnificent. Surrender to the feminine, she knows the way…
Blood…
Women bleeding has been perceived as being dirty. This is ignorance and disconnection. What is more natural than menstruation? The female body releasing her work, her constant preparation to give life. Her blood is liquid flesh. It’s nutrient rich and potent. Why is it wasted? Why is it disrespected and discarded? The scent of a bleeding female calls for nurture and attention. This is her time. We should respect this. Women are ever-changing. Expect less from her during menstruation, observe her changes. Watch her transition through her phases like the moon. Give her nurture, love and most importantly space. In tribal culture, this time was when a woman’s connection to spirit was most potent. They were sought after for advice. It was a time to tune in, to listen, to connect back to the soil, to the earth in which she and all of us came from.
Women are beautiful. Women are the creators. Women are the mothers. Women are the birthers, the life givers. Respect her. She is the land, she is the soil, she is the seed to existence. May spirit run through her veins…
Words & photography: Cade McConnell
model: Samantha Neal
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Ari Rl
Your insight into the sacred feminine is admirable and inspiring. May ALL boys and men grow to revere the sacred feminine as you have so eloquently and beautifully expressed. I honor YOU!
Shay
Thank you for expressing your journey of discovering part of the divine mystery that is Woman. Thank you for willingly pushing your edges of conditioning, for not accepting the status quo and therefore choosing to be a pioneer for change and a role model for others.
In regards to the post Luca (nov 18), I think we need to be very very careful how we treat our fellow human beings who are expressing their journey toward understanding the sacredness of woman. Males and females alike are opening to the mysteries once again. The end of patriarchy does not mean a disempowerment of the masculine, an overbearing feminine that won’t allow the masculine voice to be heard. Yes we can claim our own, but we can also celebrate the attempt of one to make change, even if it’s not perfect. The empowered feminine can look many ways, and one way is to soften into the edges … let’s be gentle with each other rather than continue the war on gender.
Rah
These were musings from a young man. A man who has moved from a mysogynistic space into one of appreciation and respect for the female form. Whilst his musings might not include ALL women, they are coming from a space of respect and you can hear this in his writing. Yes, we can judge him for only writing about the small ways in which we are women and only using one archetype of a female but that would do a great disservice to him and to us. At 23 years of age, when most are having casual sex fuelled by drugs and alcohol, this man has had the drive to learn and the courage to write in vulnerability about his findings. They might not be perfect but to persecute someone who is learning, who is trying, is such a shame. So, I celebrate and thank you for exposing yourself, for trying to understand the female form… For leaving the pack and venturing into your unknown. And to my fellow women, remember the times you have been vulnerable, have been learning and try to channel that into your responses.
Clive williams
Hi Cade, Really loved the article. I agree with you. I am a songwriter and this is one of the subjects I try to address through music and words. I thought you might appreciate this song.
http://clivewilliams.bandcamp.com/track/a-world-as-one
PS You might also like, my partner Mia and my page at The House Of Love Coaching and Therapy on Facebook. Thanks again. All the best.
Clive x
Yvonne
Sorry but I have to agree with Luca. This gives me the chills of the wrong kind.