My findings, Sex & Blood.
Males will never fathom her complexities.
Let’s accept that.
I write to share my thoughts now at 23 years of age, after several years of transformation. A growing consciousness it seems, sprouted by the practice of Yoga & meditation, trauma too. I was conditioned growing up by the males around me. Toxic masculinity and the mentality of objectifying the female body. A life confined to this mindset sings for change.
My findings…
I’ve learnt that to be ‘let in’ by a women is an honour. Entering her space, her body, her land should be done with intention and respect. The vagina is sensitive and sacred. She is the birthplace of human life. She is the gateway to existence, in which we’ve all come through. We’ve all slid through her slimy and expansive walls as new borns into our first breath. Let’s give gratitude.
I believe all humans have a duty to respect the female body, she is to be worshipped. We have been conditioned to sexualise her sacred land. I’ve experienced this myself and am grateful to have had broken free from ‘the pack’ of boys at a younger age than most, around 19. When you’re in it, you’re smothered by it, how could we know any better?
Something in me knew this patriarchal behaviour wasn’t right. It was animalistic. Though, I had to go through it. I had to objectify women, sexualise their bodies, treat them poorly and purge my own bottled up trauma into them to learn, and to question my actions and the actions of many other males.
I think we as collective of men, need to soften a little. We need to balance the seesaw of masculine and feminine energy. We need to befriend the feminine in us. Accept her. She’s there behind the external facade we’re too proud to show, waiting patiently to be heard. She’s knocking. Let her dance. Abiding by the childish and toxic terms like, ‘man up’ or ‘don’t be a pussy’, is a cry for change. Speak your truth. We need to open up and be more expressive. Yes, be strong and ply, though soft and gentle too. We need to come together with women, and share our indifferences and similarities. We need to understand each other. Though, in order to do this we need to understand ourselves.
Sex…
Sex is an energy exchange. We should enter her to express love and love only. The vagina is not an outlet to release our bottled up emotion, our stress or anger. This is our own problem to deal with. Sit and breath, learn to meditate, get in the ocean, go tread the earth bare foot. The vagina is absorbent. Let it soak up love, passion and devotion. Let it soak up truth and honesty. Be present with her. Appreciate her appearance, her odour, her taste, her texture and all of her offerings. She is powerful and vast. She is an entrance to creation. Males will never fathom her complexities. Let’s accept that. She is mysteriously magnificent. Surrender to the feminine, she knows the way…
Blood…
Women bleeding has been perceived as being dirty. This is ignorance and disconnection. What is more natural than menstruation? The female body releasing her work, her constant preparation to give life. Her blood is liquid flesh. It’s nutrient rich and potent. Why is it wasted? Why is it disrespected and discarded? The scent of a bleeding female calls for nurture and attention. This is her time. We should respect this. Women are ever-changing. Expect less from her during menstruation, observe her changes. Watch her transition through her phases like the moon. Give her nurture, love and most importantly space. In tribal culture, this time was when a woman’s connection to spirit was most potent. They were sought after for advice. It was a time to tune in, to listen, to connect back to the soil, to the earth in which she and all of us came from.
Women are beautiful. Women are the creators. Women are the mothers. Women are the birthers, the life givers. Respect her. She is the land, she is the soil, she is the seed to existence. May spirit run through her veins…
Words & photography: Cade McConnell
model: Samantha Neal
______________________________________
Lucca
As much as I understand the sentiment of this writing, I still believe it plays into the concept of “white knight” or “male heroism”. It’s shocking that we need a man to express how he views the female body. It’s shocking how only society will listen to men – this piece plays into that male power. In fact, the female body that is spoken of here; her period and pregnancy, are the same concepts used for centuries to oppress her and sexualise her. In this piece, you are doing just that but in a different light – one based on spirituality, fantasy and male obsession. Women should not be stripped down to their biological mechanisms, some of which not all women have. Yes, there are periods, yes, women give birth, but not all. In fact, a piece like this forgets these women and stems back to the concept of women being only their bodies, not their humanness. Why I’m telling you this is because this is a toxic mentality of a different kind and doesn’t add much value to Feminism. It rather emphasises the concepts the movement is trying to fight.
I understand and appreciate you trying, but as a man, watch your allyship. Watch how you use spirituality to minimise female empowerment, and watch how in this way, it is a form of oppression. Periods and pregnancy don’t define womanhood, being human does. Equality should recognise that a man is no better than a woman, and vice versa – like him, she is no warrior nor princess. She is herself.
I highly recommend reading the Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer if you want to understand the female body and her castration in society. Educate yourself on the ideas of the female and her definition – it is not your duty to address this because you feel guilty and responsible. Rather, your obligation should be to allow the female body to define herself. And while doing so, you should find a way to redefine your own male gender construct instead of hers.
Marcy
This moved me to tears. Thank you for writing down and sharing your words.
John
What gr8 beautiful words of truth & understanding 😇
Eartha love
Wow…this man!!…..we need our sons and our daughters to be given these understandings and truth so that they can come together in sacred union…how beautiful for our daughters first encounters with male energy to be coming from this place…we need to educate our daughters in our community lodges to want and expect nothing less from the young male they choose to share themselves with..And if they choose to be with a male who has not been given this knowledge, our daughters need to be strong enough in their sense of self to speak up and show the young man what they want…..thank you to the man who wrote this…For our daughters…Eartha Love
Courtney
Wow…this is profound. Beautifully written. A message this world needs to hear. You are amazing. Thank you x